Cow Beh Cow Bu

Police Acknowledge that a Cardboard Aunty Collects Such Junk for “Exercise” Purposes

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HAROLD CHAI: Oh look at these lazy cardboard aunties. So old already, don’t know how to get a proper job, whole day go out and exercise. One 86-year-old aunty even exercise until kena langga (knocked down) by bus and died. Not my words – it’s the police who said it.

Madam Ching Guan Eng was pushing a trolley containing cardboard she had collected towards a parked bus back in Nov 2014, when the bus driver started the bus, ran over her, and killed her. The coroner has found that her death was due to suayness, or in proper coroner terms, “a most unfortunate traffic misadventure” because she was in the driver’s blind spot.

What’s more jialat than this accidental death is Police investigating officer Nor Affendy Jaffar saying in court that Aunty Ching was collecting cardboard as “exercise”. And what’s more startling than that is… on of her son’s said she was collecting recyclables as a “pastime”. Aunty must be really very free. When other aunties are out doing qigong, she prefers to  early morning go out just to collect cardboard, only to be damn suay get hit by bus at 9.20am.

If you recall, Minister for social development here, Tan Chuan-Jin also acknowledged something similar last year – old people collect cardboard and other recyclable items as a form of “exercise”. If the gahmen and police say so, then it must be right, right? All these aunties and uncles are really just closet cardboard hoarders and not collecting the items to sell for cash because there’s nothing else they can do to support themselves and they have no other means of income.

So next time you see an aunty crossing the road with a heavy load of cardboard, or crushed empty cans, or whatever else these boliao people like to collect as a “pastime”, don’t try to act gentleman and stop and help. You’re just going to spoil the fun!

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