JUSTINA: For the clueless, Tinder is a dating mobile app that allows you to scroll profiles hoping to find yandaos and chiobus to date, but in reality find all sorts of weird people that make you lose faith in procreation altogether. Don’t believe? Take a look at these attempts at “snagging a prey”. I can only hope you do better.
(1) Mr KFC
If winning that is this guy’s proudest moment in life, I can only imagine where you’d be spending the rest of your dinner dates, where he might propose, and what he might get down one knee to propose to you with, ladies.
(2) The Stephen Hawkin Rival
It’s OK, Bryant, I don’t understand what you’re trying to say too. Maybe we should join MENSA together.
(3) The Living Oxymoron
Extroverted introvert? Pessimistic optimist? Living oxymoron? Maybe just moron will do.
(4) The Nude Selfie Lover
If I’ve to take a nude selfie of you in some arty farty pose every time after we do the naughty, I’m going for the damn KFC fella. At least I get to makan.
Wow I share your interest in putting my leg on the chair while lepak-ing too. We must be soul mates! Now if only I knew what you looked like.
(6) The Water Boy
Friend, Bruce Lee’s “Be like water” quote does NOT apply to dating. At least not like that lah.
(7) Mr Misunderstooderable
It must be just as payneful living with whatever disorder you have, as it was payneful trying to figure out what you’re trying to say.
(8) Ms Taken
Ok this one’s for the guys. Good luck finding any space for love in between the crazy love for Dad and Mom.