Shitty Orchard Road: Shoppers Carry Umbrellas to Shield Themselves from Bird Poo

Shoppers carrying umbrellas to shield them from bird poo might soon be a common sight along Orchard Road.

As The Singapore Beacon notes, some have already begun doing that along Singapore’s premier shopping district.

According to one man who was spotted with an umbrella:

“A lot of birds here! If you didn’t use an umbrella, they’d shit on your head!”

B Goode from The Singapore Beacon apparently conducted a check and discovered that:

“True enough, there were birdshits everywhere. All along Orchard Road. On the pavements. On the benches. On the plants… And apparently the NEA is not doing anything. The AVA is not doing anything. The government is not doing anything. Perhaps everyone is afraid to take action against the birds because they are afraid to antagonise the tree-hugging hippies who have infested our political system.”

Time to cut the bullshit and pay more attention to the bird shit problem before our proud landmark turns into a shithole?

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