SingPost has apologised to local ang moh colouminst, humourist, and all-round jolly nice bloke Neil Humphreys for the his customer service experience when calling the postal service’s hotline to make an enquiry.
There’s no way we can do this hilarious encounter justice by summarising it, so here’s the whole thing down:
Me (Neil): Hello, Singpost, I’m calling to confirm that there is a post office at Rivervale Mall.
Singpost phone guy: That is correct, sir.
Me: That there is a post office?
Singpost: That this is Singpost.
Singpost: On the phone, sir.
Me: I know that.
Me: So is there a post office at Rivervale Mall or is it just a SAM machine?
Singpost: That is correct, sir.
Me: What is?
Singpost: How can i help you today?
Me: For fuc… I mean, does Rivervale Mall have a post office?
Singpost: I’ll check for you sir. Where is the location?
Me: Rivervale Mall.
Singpost: I’ll check for you sir… Yes, that is correct, sir. The address is Eunos…
Me: Wait, what? Eunos? Rivervale Mall is in Sengkang.
Singpost: I’ll check for you, sir.
Me: No, you don’t have to check, sir. I know Rivervale Mall is Sengkang. Does it have a post office?
Singpost: I’ll check that for you sir.
Me: Thank you.
Singpost: What’s your name, sir?
Singapost: Is that Nial?
Me: If you like.
Singpost: And your phone number?
Me: FOR FU… I’m sorry. why do you need my phone number. I just want to know if there’s a post office in Rivervale Mall. Yes or no?
Singpost: In case the line hangs up.
Me: Yes, I could see why that would happen a lot.
Singpost: Yes, there is a post office at Rivervale Mall.
Me: Thank you.
Singpost: Do you need the address?
Me: It’s Eunos, right?
Singpost: No, sir. It’s…
Me: Never mind. You’re not based in Singapore are you, mate?
Singpost: No, I’m based overseas, sir.
Singpost, I’m all for cost cutting (and certainly don’t blame poor bugger on the phone) but I’d grown a beard and lost will to live by time i was done.
(UPDATE: Went to Rivervale Mall. There is no post office, just a bloody SAM machine!!)