A young lady has written an account of how she got molested in the hopes of getting women to speak up when they face such situations instead of feeling ashamed and keeping quiet.
Lian Meiting isn’t happy that people asked “what were you wearing” when she first posted her tale of the event.
This, after reading s report about how a Malaysian lady got groped at the recent Siloso Beach Party, “Siloso Beach Party Sex Attack: “Someone Pulled My Bra Down and Grabbed My Breasts”.
“So it’s ok to touch me if I’m wearing shorts or anything revealing? But I wasn’t lah anyway, just felt very disgusted by these close minded people. And I’m shocked how many girls came forward to share their experiences with me and almost 90% of these girls kept quiet cause they were scared.”
This is her story:
It was going to 5pm, and what initially was a happy family day outing turned into us dialing 999 for help & ended up taking statement at Cantonment Police Station.
My cousin initiated this family outing, for us to shop at the Chinese New Year Bazaar at Chinatown. We met up, had a quick bite at the famous “Tong Heng” egg tart place and we started shopping.
Then it happened..
It was pretty crowded but NOT till the extend where we were like squeezing shoulders to shoulders.
I was leading my family, a total of 10 of us. My mom & dad, my 2 aunties, 3 male cousins & 2 of their partners.
Right behind me was T, my cousin’s girlfriend and this stall selling peanuts caught our attention as they had “Salted Caramel peanuts”, so we were walking on the right, as we wanted to sample the goodies.
Then on my left, in the opposite direction, there was this man who walked past me and I felt it.
I felt his entire palm & 5 fingers on my upper thigh, right next to my butt.
He exerted slight pressure and all his fingers curled up & dug into my thigh, and he let go.
Once I felt that touch, like a reflex action, I immediately turned and saw the back of the guy & I smacked him right on his back.
He stopped and stared at me, like everyone else around us.
I shouted at him “DON’T TOUCH ME!”
And he just stared back without a word.
I again shouted “YOU TOUCHED ME!”
And he denied by saying something like “I never!”
Right behind me was T, and she shouted “KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, I SAW YOU TOUCH HER!”
As I’ve mentioned earlier, I was with my family & cousins and it was a big group. My male cousins were very protective of me so they stopped the guy, I’m just going to call him pervert from now.
So my male cousins stopped the pervert & questioned him if he did touched me and of course the pervert denied and asked
“Where’s your proof?! Do you have proof that I touched her?!”
Wah, I hear already damn angry bloody idiot. Who goes around videoing themselves to catch such incident!?
So 1 of my male cousin held on to the pervert, while my other cousin called the police. All of us surrounded the pervert to make sure he couldn’t escape & there were so many people around us. Watching the drama.
While waiting for the police to arrive, we argued because he denied and said
“who knows you all accuse me & trick me altogether.”
Hello bro! You make sense or not?! 10 of us come Chinatown with aunties & parents to trick you…. for what?!? You billionaire is it? Can extort u?
& just before the police arrived, the pervert turned to my dad, because my cousins were all very fierce and protective of me, so the only calm person in the group was my dad.
The pervert asked my dad..
“If I sincerely apologize, can we let this matter rest.”
You not guilty, you apologize for what?!??
If he was a innocent guy and got accused like this in public, getting humiliated by being called a pervert, wouldn’t he be mad and want to clear his name? But instead he decided to “apologize & let the matter rest”.
Confirm is guilty & scared cause police reaching already right?!
So the police arrived, took pictures of the place where it happened and took our statements & asked if I wanted to pursue the matter or accept the pervert’s apologies.
As the police said it is my words against his words and there are no CCTV around that can zoom in to see if his hand did touch me.
I didn’t want to let this guy off so easily because, in the past, I would just keep quiet and let it go. But this will encourage these bloody sickos to continue preying on girls as they think they can get away with it.
Cause most of the times, girls don’t dare to speak up.
& these perverts will repeat it again & again and they get bolder & bolder & who knows..
What else they will do?
What if the victim was a younger girl who didn’t dare make a sound?
What if she was alone and not like me, with my family?
What if this scars her and she will always think it’s better to just keep quiet cause no one will believe her?
And what I can’t believe is, after posting my incident on my Instagram stories yesterday, so many girls messaged me and tell me that similar things happened before to them but they didn’t dare to make a scene so they just kept quiet.
But the pervert’s touch was so deliberate & obvious, I felt so violated & disgusted that he dared to do such act in public under broad daylight. And if it can happen to me, an adult with my entire family, it can also happen to a young girl who is alone & too scared to speak up.
And many times when such incidents happens, when a girl claims to be molested, tables turn & the “internet trolls” will ask What’s the girl wearing? If it is revealing/sexy then.. the girl is ASKING FOR IT.
Victim blaming is never OK,
And victim blaming is the reason why so many girls keep quiet when they’ve been molested or taken advantage of.
Cause they are scared, ashamed and feel that the public will not believe them.
So please, everyone reading this, please stop victim blaming.
What if it was your family member or close friends. Just because she was wearing shorts, it is still NOT an invitation or an OK for a stranger to rub his filthy hands on her.
I recently saw an article where a Malaysian girl was molested at a foam party in Sentosa and she made a police report, and I read the comments, so many people were saying “she wear bikini go such event, expected what, complain what?!”
Omg, please. No.
So girls, please speak up if you are ever violated like that. I know it is scary and I know it is even worse if you are alone. But don’t keep quiet and just let these sickos get away with it and they will get bolder and do it again to other girls.
Of course if it is an accidental touch then don’t create a drama lah. If you are certain he is touching you where he shouldn’t and it is a deliberate act, please do raise your voice and tell people around you.
This is the pervert.
So I ended up taking my statement at Cantonment Police Station along with my cousin’s gf, T, as she was an eye witness.
This entire incident wasted 3 whole hours of my day and my entire family waited for me to be done. By then it was 8pm and everyone was so hungry.
I felt bad for spoiling the family outing..
But the pervert’s touch was so disgusting, I couldn’t just keep quiet and let him get away. I’m also so touched that my family were all so supportive and protective of me. 😢
So right now, this case is under going investigation and the IO, inspection officer, told me there will be 3 outcomes for the pervert.
1- No further action taken if insufficient proof.
2- Stern warning
3- Go to court and I’ll have to attend court too.
Oh and another important point, we were arguing with the pervert while waiting for the police to arrive, the pervert said what if it was accidental and he claimed that he walks with his palm facing outwards, so his touch on my thigh was accidental.
Who walks with the palm facing outwards?!
Your wrists not tired is it?!?
This is how he “claims” he walks, palm facing outwards.
Not that it matters..