Damn Funny Lah

Simple to Strange Fond Memories of Mom Shared by Fellow Singaporeans

A mother’s love can be expressed in the simplest, most straightforward, or even damn bloody strange manner!

Here’s the stories some of our friends in Singapore remember fondly about their mothers.

(1) Teh and Eggs Mommy

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My mother is 72 years old, but she will always wake up every morning to make breakfast for my daughter – her granddaughter – just like she did for me when I was young. It’s always 2 eggs and tea because my mother says coffee is no good for health. So yeah, my mother has been making eggs and tea almost every day for 39 years.

Well done mom!
-Huixian

(2) Porno Mommy

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I was still unmarried when I was 30. I never brought a girl home before, or talked about girls at home. One day, when I came home after work, there was this girl sitting on the sofa talking to my mother. Turns out she was a girl my mother thought would “make a good wife” and wanted to match-make us! I chatted with her for awhile and just went back to my room because I was so embarrassed! One week later, I found some FHM magazines in my room. Turns my mother borrowed them from one of her brothers, my uncle, and put them there. How did I know? Because she asked me if I found the women “appealing”. Damn, she thought I could be gay! Anyway mother doesn’t have to worry anymore because I’m 38 years old and married. So no need to sneak porno mags into my flat anymore, mother.

Well done mom!
-Chen Yi

(3) KFC Mommy

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My mother used to work as a seamstress. I remember there was one time when I was young my brother and I liked to eat KFC chicken and MacDonald’s nuggets. So my mother would cook dinner every day for the family, but on Friday she would buy either KFC or MacDonald’s meals for us kids. Later on then I found out she would only have Kopi O for lunch from Mondays to Fridays just so she could buy us fast food chicken. No wonder we were so round and she was so skinny!

Well done mom!
-Johnson

(4) Pink Power Mommy

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I’m a man. When I was 23, I confessed to my mother that I’m fond of other men. She cried. Later that night, she told my father. He walloped me and told me to “straighten myself out”, real words, no pun intended I believe! For months, he would give me the “look”, and wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me properly. I think he found me disgusting. This was the 1980s and homosexuality wasn’t as openly talked about as it is now. Eventually I left home to stay with an older friend. It was about 6 years later that I received a call from my sister, asking me to come home for dinner. For the first time in so long, I actually sat down for a proper dinner with my family. That was Mother’s Day in 1992. It turns out my mother was very upset, but she never gave up hope on me and would always talk to my father about forgiving me for being different and not being able to give him an heir. He finally relented. My father two years later. I’m happy we made peace, and it’s all thanks to my mother’s support even though I left her alone for so many years. She’s the most enduring and accepting woman I know and I’ll never leave her alone again.

Well done Mom!
-Timothy

(5) Iron Mommy

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I’m a second child. My father got involved with a woman while my mother was pregnant with me, and he left the family shortly after I was born. My mother worked two jobs to raise us, and even had to borrow money from her family and siblings. That was very embarrassing because firstly she married a rogue, and after that she had no money to take care of us. But she did what she could. Today, my sister is a doctor and I run a trading business (because I don’t like to study and used to get nagged all the time.) All this is thanks to my mom.

Well done mom!
-Long

(6) Mind-Your-Manners Mommy

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I come from a well-to-do family. My grandparents were pretty rich and my parents led good lives all their lives. My two sisters and I also lived very comfortably. But my mother always taught us to understand that there are people who are less well-off than us, and that we must be kind to them. I remember she liked to give money to beggars on the street. When we went to Shenzhen once for holiday, she gave money to one beggar and suddenly we were swamped by maybe 20 or so beggars following us. She gave money to all of them, and even more came! We had to shuffle mom into a taxi and get out of there fast! My mother was also damn giam siap (stingy). But only on herself. She would buy coffee from one stall because it was 20 cents cheaper. Why? Because “everyday save 20cents, one week you can save S$1.40. Then one month?”  But that money was saved to buy nutritious food products for my sisters and I. Haiyo, mom. My mother also made sure that we were aware of little things, like giving up our seats on the bus to the less mobile and the elderly. All my sisters wore hand-me-down clothes when we were younger because she believed that no matter how much money you have, you must always be frugal. It’s easy to raise spoilt rich kids, but is that the best way to raise them? I teach my daughters the same lessons my mom taught us today, because I want them to know that whatever your family background, it is always good to be humble and kind and not give in to materialism.

Well done mom!
-Alice

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