Damn Funny Lah

Tissue Pape “Chope” Seat Attempt Gone Wrong, Old Aunty Left Fuming Mad!

BISONMAN: Yesterday night I was at a super crowded hawker center for a forever alone dinner. The queues for most stalls were very long and being a lazy person, I just bought a plate of roasted chicken rice with an addition of an egg.

After buying the plate of chicken rice, I immediately regretted not tapau-ing (hokkien slang for “takeaway”)  home to eat. I looked around and there was absolutely no vacant seats!!! I started to panic and was afraid that I might have to stand up eating. However I calmed myself down and bravely walked to a ulu corner of the hawker center, hoping to find a seat maybe at the area near the rubbish bins.

As I walked around the corner, I saw an empty 2-persen table! I sprinted to that table while keeping the plate of rice perfectly balanced on my left hand and sat down!

It was after I sat down that I also noticed a packet a tissue on the table! I was so delighted and couldn’t believe my luck! An empty seat in a crowded hawker.. plus free tissue to wipe mouth after that!! SCORE!

I gobbled up my chickon rice in 5 minutes, army style, wiped my mouth with the free tissue and went home satisfied and feeling lucky. One weird thing however is just as I walked off the table, a very angry looking old aunty who was approaching my table kept staring at me…. shouldnt she be happy too that there’s a vacant table too? I conclude that singapore really is alot of siaolang (hokkien slang for: “crazy people”).



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