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Wise Words Spoken by Smart-Ass Singaporean Daddies: A Fathers’ Day Special

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If you ever needed words of wisdom to live by, or leaders to steer your life the right way, fathers are probably the best role models to follow.

Just take a look at these daddies!

(1) The Anti-Gay Daddy

I’m gay. This was a conversation between my father and me while I was driving and hit a fork road:

Me: “Should I go forward?”
Dad: “Don’t go forward, go straight.”

Damn cheeky lah.

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(2) The Anti-Government Daddy

I was in university during the 2011 General Election.

Dad: Study hard, next time you can become a minister.

Overhead later that night when Seetoh Yi Pin won in Potong Pasir…

Dad: All these Singapore ministers are damn chao kuan ch** bye (play dirty, vagina). Na beh, everytime buah chao (play cheat). All ministers in Singapore can go to hell.

What does my father want from me, exactly?

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(3) The Responsible Daddy

Before going out to play football  in a ‘C’ Division match when I was 14 years old:

Me: “You not going to wish me good luck ah?”
Dad: “If you break your leg, call your mother. Good luck.”

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(4) The PAP Gahmen Father

Dad: “I am the head of this house, don’t argue, just follow do what I tell you to do.”

Dad, after reading TR Emeritus: “Bloody PAP gahmen, limpeh say what then we must do ah?”

Erm, head of the country, dad?

Really a “Come, I clap for you moment lah…”

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(5) The Manager Daddy

My mother is boss of the house, but my father thought me everything I need to know about management.

Mom: “Can you drive Fat (my brother) to the hawker centre to buy dinner?”
Dad: “Ah San (“Skinny” aka me), drive your brother to go buy dinner.”

Wah piang eh.

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(6) The Lawyer Daddy.

I’m the only one in my family who is a vegetarian. One day while having lunch with my parents, my father was talking about a cat abuse case:

Dad: “How can people be so cruel… we should love all animals.”
Me: “Then why are you eating roast pork rice?”
Dad: “I love all animals I don’t eat.”

Next time if my boss asks me if I love my work, I know what to tell him.

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(7) The Hardworking Daddy

My father was sitting on the sofa, drinking beer and scratching his backside and watching some Channel 8 drama, when my mother asked him to throw the rubbish at the bulky refuse bin at the void deck.

Dad: “Wah lau, do you know how hard I work for this family?”

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Happy Father’s Day, Daddies.

 

 

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